|Honorable Mention: Best Coming Out
By Dominque Curry - AL
2012 KarMel Scholarship Submission
Description of Submission:
"This story is a story about myself when I revealed my secret to my mom about my sexuality and her reactions." -
Why Karen and Melody Liked It:
We loved what the mom had to say to her daughter, when she came out.
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I wondered to myself about my happiness. I love who I am. I’ve been living my homosexual life since the
fourth grade and I am currently in college. Why should I have to keep my sexuality a secret? Continuing to
keep it a secret was tearing me apart. I had to build up enough strength to tell my mom my secret.
So, there I was sitting in my bed thinking and listening to music. The room was dark with stars glowing on
the ceiling. As I laid in deep thought, I felt like I was in a world of my own. All I could think about is how was I
going to reveal my secret to my mom. I’ve lived for the past 6 years hiding a secret from her. I don’t want
her to be ashamed of me and who I am. I’m thinking about all the times I have to hide when I am on the
phone. When my mom came around I immediately put whoever I was on the phone with on hold. It was very
hard to go out and be with my girlfriend. I am better expressing myself on paper. So, I decided to write my
mom a letter. The letter said, “Dear mom you know I love you a lot. You’re the best mom anyone could
have, but I have been keeping a secret from you. I like girls. You may think I am going through a phase, but
I am not. I have been dating girls since I was in the fourth grade. It has been very hard trying to be who I am
and please you at the same time. I know you may want me with a guy or want grandchildren, but I just can't
do that. I am who I am. I am very proud of what I have become. It took me a while to decide whether I was
going to write this letter or not. I have started over about 6 times trying to get the right words to say to you. I
have a feeling that you will dislike my decision. I hope one day you will be able to accept me for who I am
and still love me as your child and not as a lesbian.” After I wrote the letter I immediately felt a huge weight
lifted off of my shoulder.
So, on my way to school I left the letter on my mother's bed while she was asleep. I was in school worried
the entire day. My heart was pounding fast as a cheetah running through the jungle. While the teacher was
doing a lecture, but I could only think about was my mom reading the letter. I tried very hard to picture her
reading the letter. I even dreamed and wished I was a psychic so I could read her mind. It was very hard for
me to focus in class. I even found myself writing my mom's name down on my assignments. I kept tapping
my pencil on the desk. I also trembling so much that I bit off all of my nails. So many thoughts were running
through my head. I was having mixed emotions. I was anxious to get home to see if she had read it, but at
the same time afraid of what she will think. All I could think about is how she was not going to accept me. I
even thought that she would send me to stay with my dad because she didn't approve of homosexuals. I
know my mom expected a lot out of me and being gay wasn’t one of her expectations.
When I got home that evening, I was more nervous than I had ever been in my entire life. Every bone in my
body wanted to go directly to my mom’s room but I went cowardly to my own room, but before I could feel
the floor of my room beneath my feet, my mom called me directly to her room. I thought, “All hell fixing to
break loose”. I went to her room with an enormous feeling of fear consuming me but the minute I looked
into my mother’s accepting eyes, the clouds of fear left me as fast as it had taken over me. She made me
sit on her bed and said, “No that’s not the kind of life I wanted for you, only because people that are
different in any way sometimes have to deal with certain cruelties of this world no matter how unfair it may
be. For that reason and that reason along, it makes me sad. However, on the other hand, I am so proud of
your bravery you showed in sharing this with me. I am sure it must have been hard for you and yet you still
shared it. I must tell you though, everyone will not be as acccepting as I was and when that happens, you
must tap into that same strength you tapped in to tell me and with it, hold your head high and always be
proud of who you are. Know that the people that really love you, and you are loved sweetie, will always love
you regardless of your sexual preference”. It was at that moment I realized my mom may not agree with
everything I choose in life, but she would always love me unconditionally and that my siblings and I were
blessed to have a mom like Samantha Williams Curry Sterling.
I felt so relieved that I got my secret out. My mom really proved my assumptions to be wrong. To be honest,
my mom and I are much closer than we used to be. It has made me realize that it shouldn’t matter what
others think of me. I have to love myself and live my own life despite what others may have to say or think.
Also it made me view my mom in a more positive way. I know she loves me and cares for me no matter
what my sexuality is. She doesn’t care about who I love or who I am with as a partner. All that matters is
that I am her daughter and she loves me. My life has been so much better since I revealed my secret to my
mom. I have nothing to worry about because as long as I got family to accept me that's all that matters.