KarMel
Scholarship 2008
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Personal
Story “The
Perfect Daughter” By Danielle
Bastarache |
Desciption of Submission: “An essay
with strong opinions on my orientation and how it has been viewed by others in
my life, especially parents and peers. Also, how it effected my life mostly at
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I was always seen as the perfect
little girl. Daddy told everyone that
I would grow up to be a beautiful model, balance a career as a doctor, and
become very successful. Mommy stayed Being an only child for the first
nine years of my life could be considered the very best or absolute worst
thing to ever happen to me. Two months
after my ninth birthday, my little sister arrived, by plane, to the If my parents wanted something bad
enough, they wouldn’t stop until they got it.
They always wanted a big family and never hesitated when it came to
helping out people who needed it. This
is when they got into foster care with the intentions of being able to
adopt. When I was fourteen, random
children, ranging in age from nine months to seven years old began entering
and exiting my house on a regular basis.
They would stay for any amount of time - the least being four days,
the most five months - and I had to adapt differently each time. A few months after I turned fifteen, the
pressure of me having to be the perfect big sister built immensely when two
ten-month old little boys came into my house - to stay. Being from two separate birth families,
only seven weeks apart in age, they were a handful. They each came form different backgrounds
with their own stories and problems.
My parents fought for their rights every step of the way, like they
would have for me - or so I thought. After they were adopted, my
rainbow of a family was complete. When
I was younger, I did everything I was told.
I tried to make sure I never did anything wrong. If I did, I would get a time-out, kneeling
in the corner for a pre-determined amount of time. But that wasn’t the worst part. In my eyes, it hurt more to see Mommy or
Daddy get upset with me than it did to spend whatever amount of minutes on my
knees thinking about what I had done wrong.
Disappointing them was the absolute worst thing I could ever do. I was supposed to be “The World’s Best
Daughter” and the most perfect big sister.
When I was younger, it would be something simple that I did wrong,
like writing on the wall or coloring on the table; but as time went on,
things got a little more dramatic. I
started talking back, making faces at my parents, bossing my siblings around,
and doing things they told me not to do. As my faults escalated, so did the
punishments. Instead of kneeling in
the corner, I wasn’t allowed to watch anything on TV for a week. Soon after, I lost computer privileges, and
eventually - the worst - my car keys, my car, my
freedom. I felt like I was on top of
the world until that very moment I walked in the door to my house with my mom
asking “what is this, some kind of sick joke?” she said this
while she held the quilt my girlfriend made me for our on year anniversary. How could something like this
happen? Hearing those words from your
own mother and getting no response, just a disgusted look, from your
father. Where were Mommy and
Daddy? Where were the people who had
always shown me unconditional love and acceptance? Now those very same people chose not to be
there for me at one of the happiest times in my entire life. Instead, they completely blocked me
out. Actually, I wish they completely
blocked me out. It would have been
nicer than all the conversations that ended with hurtful little side
comments, fights, harsh words, and tears.
Those are about the only things we share now. I finally feel like I know who I
am. I feel like I have finally become “The
World’s Best Daughter” and the most perfect big sister I can be, but they don’t. they see me as
their daughter who betrayed them and their family for some girl. They see me as someone who wanted to “ruin”
their reputation in their This is where I’m torn. I’m not sure if I feel bad for my sister
and brothers, fearing that they will possibly have to go through something
similar if they don’t follow our parents’ plan for them precisely or if it
makes me insanely jealous that they get treated better than I do. My parents “fought equally” for all four of
us to be theirs in different ways and “love every one of us equally”, they
just don’t act like it. They treat me
like crap and then turn around and treat the others like perfect little
angels. The person who I am today is
definitely not that innocent little girl anymore; and I’m not afraid to admit
it. Even though I haven’t changed much , the way they see me has. I still choose not to do drugs, drink
alcohol, or smoke anything, but to them I’m a different person, almost worse
than any of those things. The main
thing is that I’m happy with my life no matter how much I have to hide who I
really am from the should be the most loving and
accepting to me. No, I cant show or express my true feelings at |