KarMel Scholarship 2008

 

Personal Story

“Counter Protest

By Ruth Carter

 

 

Desciption of Submission: “Participating in a protest of an anti-same-sex marriage rally” - Ruth

 

“Mom, I’m scared.”

 

Those were the words that escaped my mouth when I called my mom while I was walking towards the state capital.  It was May of 2004 and I was volunteering with Marriage Equality Arizona, an organization dedicated to the legalization of same-sex marriages.  I was on my way to join my group for a protest.  We had had a big event a few weeks prior where members of the clergy married over twenty same-sex couples.  To this day, marriages that are performed without a marriage license are illegal.  The clergy members risked jail time by going to the state and demanding that the marriages be acknowledged as legal unions.  For a few weeks, our event brought same-sex marriage to the forefront in Arizona. 

 

On this day, conservatives responded by having a rally at the state capital to promote their views: a marriage should only be between a man and a woman.  We decided to have a peaceful protest by walking around their rally with our pro-same-sex marriage shirts and signs.  Going into the event, we knew we were outnumbered.  I wasn’t prepared to see the magnitude of the conservatives who took time out of their day to attend the rally.  They came by the busload and the sides of the buses had the names of various local churches.  They came with their children, many of them still toddlers.  And they were dressed from head-to-toe in white.  Walking through the crowd, speaking passionately with my mother on my cell phone, they thought I was one of them because my T-shirt was white like theirs.  As I stood on the street corner waiting for the light to change, many of them smiled at me, perhaps considering me a young person making it a priority to show support for their beliefs. And then they saw that my shirt said “Marriage Equality.”  Their faces changed from pride, to confusion, to rejection in about four seconds.  I feared what these stroller-pushing soccer-moms might say to me.  I feared the righteousness in their eyes.  I feared the values they were teaching their children.  I feared for whom they’d vote in the next election.  Thankfully, none of them said a word to me and I hurried on across the street.   

 

My heart raced when I saw the sea of white blanketing the lawns between the capital buildings.  In the center was a stage and a man, likely a church leader, who was standing at the microphone proclaiming that they were doing “God’s work” that day.  I feared his God.  I power walked on.  

 

I kept talking to Mom on my phone until I met my group.  She told me that everything would be fine and nothing bad was going to happen to me.  I didn’t want to scare her by telling her I was afraid these people might attack me and leave me beaten in the street or worse.  My mother has always been supportive of me and encouraged me to stand up for my beliefs, however I know she feels a maternal instinct to protect me too.  I know she was relieved to hear that I had safely met my group where there were other people, including some big men, to protect me since she couldn’t be there to do it herself.

I was relieved when I met my group and my heart rate slowed a bit.  There was only about a dozen of us compared to the 4,000 of them.  We knew we’d be badly outnumbered, but it was important that we remind the conservative masses that not everyone in the community shared their views.  It was imperative that we exhibited our right of free speech to show our government that our beliefs were as valid as theirs were.  As we walked around their rally, I feared what the crowd might say.  I was grateful when we saw that most of them were focused on their rally and didn’t appear to mind us since we weren’t engaging them.  This suited our desire to raise awareness with minimal risk to our physical safety.  When their rally ended, our protest was over as well.  The conservatives piled back into their buses and we walked back to our cars.  I walked with a woman from my group who had her two adorable daughters with her.  I made sure she was safely on her way home before returning to my car.  I didn’t want her to face a confrontation on her own.

 

As I walked in the direction of my vehicle, I wondered if people would see the HRC sticker on my bumper and know that a gay car was amongst theirs.  Would they vandalize it?  Put pro-conservative flyers on my windshield?  Thankfully, my car was untouched. 

 

I knew when I moved to Arizona that I’d be in a more conservative environment. Still, the sheer number of individuals who despised queer-identified people and the passion with which they expressed their beliefs overwhelmed me.  A major part of my coming out was accepting that there would be people who may want to kill me because I don’t consider the gender of my partner when I fall in love.  As I think back on the day of the peaceful protest, I feel sorry for the little children dressed in white because some of them are gay and they are growing up in a world where they are told that they are evil and God hates them.  I hope they find others who tell them the truth and accept them as the person they were born to be.

 

 

 

 

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