KarMel
Scholarship 2008
|
Personal
Story “Coming
Out” By Kalvin
Leveille |
Desciption of Submission: “The importance of
coming out. “ - Kalvin
|
I believe
coming out is a right of passage for any homosexual. There is so much that
happens, which makes this experience so empowering. For me, this experience
forced me to analyze the many negative views of homosexuality my community
taught me. I grew up in There is so
much wisdom that is gained from this process which caused me to mature at an
early age. Coming to terms with my sexuality happened for me when I was 17
years old. Once I became totally
secure with my sexuality, I made it my goal that year to come out to my
friends and family. I truly felt it was my responsibility to let my love ones
know what had been so personal to me. Since they shared things about
themselves to me, it was only fair. As I
continued to live this lifestyle in the closest, I realized that my sexual
orientation did not just primarily affect me. It also affected those closest
to me because they had to re-evaluate the person they saw me as and the
person they saw me to become. Keeping my sexual orientation a secret from my
friends and family began to have a negative impact on my relationships. My mother
was the person which I was most afraid of coming “out” to, because I knew
this could have changed our relationship. I didn’t want her to feel like a
failure of a parent because she raised me and my sister as a single parent. I
told my mother I was gay in the summer of 2004. It was very difficult for me
to tell her because my mother grew up with a Caribbean & Catholic
background and I am her only son. It was very difficult for her to understand
my sexual orientation and accept me for who I am. Especially since she was
never exposed to the gay lifestyle as I was confronting her with. Since I was
secure with my sexuality, I was prepared to have many necessary dialogues
with her to help her understand. One thing I
learned coming out to my mother is patience. It took me a long time for me to
accept myself completely, so therefore I needed to allow my mother the same
time to accept me as well. When it comes to my sexuality, I usually do not
care for people’s acceptance but I always demand respect. However, I wanted
full acceptance from my mother. Now at 20
years old, my mother is my greatest supporter and advocate. She welcomes all
my homosexual friends and respects my lifestyle decisions. Ever since coming
out to her, I can honestly say our relationship is extremely stronger than
before. We talk very openly to each other. She now understands the courage it
took me to be honest about my homosexuality with her. She also understands my
honesty and self acceptance makes me more of a man than most of the men she
knows. Once I accepted myself, life became easier
and much more fulfilling. I once heard a quote which summarized how I feel
perfectly. “I rather you hate me for who I really am, than like me for
someone I pretend to be.” My self esteem is stronger than ever. When I chose
to be open about my sexual orientation, it felt as if I was being re-born.
Now that I am “out,” I can live life to the fullest. |