KarMel Scholarship 2008

 

Personal Story

“Living in Sin”

By Heather Rice

 

 

Desciption of Submission: “Coming out at a conservative bible college.” - Heather

 

“God’s Word is also seen and heard through the Spirit who calls us into community and who creates in us a sense of corporate identity that enhances and enriches our individuality.”

 – John Shelby Spong: “Living in Sin?”

Seeking God; that was my intention in transferring from the University of Western Ontario where I was focused on a degree in Sociology.  My intent was to transfer in to a place where I could earn a Bachelors Degree while furthering knowledge in the area of my greatest passion-God.

I was mildly aware of my sexual preference before arriving at Bible College but it wasn’t until I met the woman who I am currently engaged to that I realized; these feelings were more than a passing thought.  I came to terms in my own heart that I am gay.  I also came to terms with my self that I believed being gay in no way dishonored God.  This being the opposite view of the school I was currently at, I debated leaving after year one.  Already having feelings of intense love for my partner, I returned for a second year and we remained in hiding labeled as nothing more than roommates and best friends.

The pressures of hiding that I was Gay I was begun to grow.  As we lived out our “Christian” lives our relationship was under intense pressures.  If anyone were to find out that we were in love with each other it would mean immediate dismissal.  My partner was in her last year at Bible College going onward to an internship outside of school that would lead to her graduation date.  I left Bible College unsure of where my next step would be, discouraged that the God I sought to learn more about couldn’t continue at the bible college I had transferred to. 

Graduating felt as though it was unattainable.  My partner and I were now living together, still in hiding as she worked on the streets of Toronto, Canada doing her internship with the homeless.  As her graduation date came closer and closer questions from previous classmates of Bible College began surfacing.  If our relationship were to be found out, my partner would not be granted her degree and left with nothing but debt to show for four and a half years of grueling emotional and academic work. 

Luckily my partner graduated, and we were able to come out of hiding.  This would be the beginning of various judgments from former classmates. We stood strong as we wondered what we would do next.  My partner is American, and I am Canadian.  To stay together and to be able to afford to finish the degree I started in Sociology we were forced to move to Maine where my partner has been supporting me as I finish my B.A. in Sociology. 

I currently attend the University of Southern Maine, a place where sexuality is something to be celebrated rather than a reason for dismissal.  I feel as though I am attending a place of higher education where I can flourish as a Gay individual and as a believer.  For a while I felt as though something was stripped of me at Bible College.  I feel as though the freedom to be a gay believer was almost taken from me. 

Since moving to Maine I’ve sought to open the doors to inclusive Christianity.  I’ve been in constant debate with previous classmates.  I’m speaking the truth of Gods love for all people.  I’ve recently become involved with the United Church of Christ seeking to promote their activism for Gay rights-Human rights.  I will not be quiet and will do everything in my power to open the eyes of anyone who would make a Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Transgendered individual feel as though God has no place for them.  God is love and I aim to live that everyday with my life Partner by my side. 

When I am finished with My Bachelor Degree in Sociology I hope to begin working with movements of progressive Christianity.  I hope to further my education and have a passion to further awareness and open doors for GLBT individuals to live a life free of discrimination and limitation in the realm of spirituality. 

“Sexuality is not simply a matter of behavior.  Our sexuality goes to the heart of our identity as persons.” – John Shelby Spong: “Living in Sin?”

 

 

 

 

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