KarMel Scholarship 2008

 

Poem

“Hope Through the Darkness”

By Emily Rence

 

 

 

Desciption of Submission: “This is a poem that describes the feelings I expereinced before I had told anyone that I was a lesbian. From the moment I told my best friend, my life changed. The weight of keeping this part of my life secret, of being concious of every word, every pronoun I used, was lifted. It was truly as if I could finally breathe.” - Emily

 

 

 

Full of questions with no answers

Uncertainty surrounds me,

Taking over my entire being

Swallowed up by darkness

Drowning in a sea of fear and confusion

My life seems to spiral downwards, out of control

Further and further still

Enveloped in blackness, lost

I reach out for something to hold onto

Someone to pull me out, to rescue me from this loneliness

To rescue me from myself

But my hand comes back empty, no one grabs hold

 

Just then I realize-only I can save me

I’m the only one who can set me free from my thoughts

Instead of surrendering myself, I have to fight

I have to open my eyes and get through this

My body, once weighed down by fear and confusion, is now light

Seemingly floating through the darkness

Towards a light I hadn’t seen before

Although I can’t quite reach it, I now know it’s there

I know things can only go up from here

I have to hold on to that flickering light, that fleeting hope

I can’t give it up, not now.

Not when I’m so close

Not when I can see the end.

Not when I’m so near to finding what I’ve searched so long for.

The end of darkness is the beginning of me; it’s my chance to start again.

My chance to live free from the confining world of secrecy.

 

 

 

 

 

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