KarMel Scholarship 2008

 

Poem

“It Wasn’t an Overnight Change”

By Ashley Stukes

 

 

 

Desciption of Submission: “I A poem about my coming out experience with my mother it is dedicated to my mom as well as other people's mother who don’t accept them for who they truly are” - Ashley

 

 

 

 

It WASN'T an overnight change, like the weather forecast from sun to rain....... It WASN'T a choice I made.... The only choice I made was to open that door that I so desperately wish to close again.... It WASN'T like I woke up one day and say that I wanted to be GAY.... It's not like I didn't pray..... I prayed to be what society calls "NORMAL" but these feelings within wouldn't go away.... Why can't you understand that i'm still the same person you knew before??? There's nothing different about me but the fact that you know I AM GAY.... Acceptance is not what i'm asking for , but understandance is what I need.... Two different indivduals is what we are but being human is what makes us the same.... Why can't you see that your actions are putting me through so much pain??? My feelings i'm forced to hold inside, never to be told to you again..... You claim to say that i'm so miserable, but I guess that's only around you, because to be honest when i'm any other place my skies are so BLUE..... You claim to say that i'm following after friends of mine that you don't know but does that mean i'm following after the friends of mine that you do??? I have said this time and time again.... I'm NOT  a follower.... I feel NO NEED to follow after others... I AM MY OWN PERSON... but I guess that's one thing you fail to see.... The clothing I wear does not make me who I am..... Or something "YOU" claim i'm trying to be.... I know i am a FEMALE and that I am NOT trying to change, so please stop coming to me with all these stereotypical things.... You are so wrapped up in what societ things... It's like every stereotype you hear about gay people sticks to your brain like permanent ink.... Forcing you to believe what most homophobes want you to think..... There's nothing left for me to say... I've said all that I felt needed to be said.... And still I continue to pray..... But now I don't pray for GOD to change me... I pray for him to change you and your ways......

P.S.  I HAVE READ THIS TO A FEW OF MY FRIENDS AND ALTHOUGH IT SAYS DEDICATED TO MY MOM.... WITH THE HELP OF SOME CLOSE FRIENDS I'VE TO MADE UP MY MIND AND DECIDED TO DEDICATE THIS TO ALL MOMS WHO DONT ACCEPT THEIR CHILD FOR WHO THEY ARE...... SO THIS GOES OUT TO MY RAINBOW FAM WHO HAVE MOMS THAT DONT ACCEPT THEM... IT'S DEDICATED TO ALL MOMS AS WELL AS MINES....

 

 

 

 

 

Back