KarMel Scholarship 2010
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Special Judges Award “Butter on Skin” By Jude Bower (Poem – Transgender)
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Description of Submission: “I live in a world where most people will always see me as female. It's a very uncomfortable feeling—unclean—something I know I'll never be able to fully wash away. This poem discusses how it feels to be trapped in a body which doesn't fit, and a society which largely doesn't understand.” - Jude
Biography: Biography: Jude will be a
freshman attending Hampshire College and major in gender studies and
music. In their spare time, Jude does a lot of song writing and performs
in a band.
Why Karen and Melody Liked It: We liked how this poem show cased the
struggles a transgender person goes through.
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I live
in a
(family?)
where
she covers me:
butter
on skin, no hot water,
i
am greasy, unclean, coated in a
substance
that i can't help but know
will
never fully disappear.
They
still see her, the voices carve into
my
back.
(I like you without a
penis, you
said.)
(I like your voice
the way it is, you said.)
(I want to rip this
voice from my body and
make it finally fit, i whispered. I HATE it, i said,
i
said, i said.)
(You don't
understand. I want to kill her.)
How
could you? How could
they
understand how it feels to
make
love with a body that doesn't fit?
Let's run away,
please?
So i can be
constantly covered in
truth, and i will
cover you in
truth, and
we will feel
clean,
one day.
I promise; cross my
heart
and hope
to die.
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Do you like this? Then feel free to send an email message to Jude at: jude.bower12@gmail.com